What’s wrong with me?
Do you feel any of the following?
Irritable
Bored
Unhappy
Unfulfilled
Stuck
Numb
Fake
Angry
Teary
If you answered yes
to one, some, or all of the above, these feelings could be clues that something in your life is making you unhappy, isn’t working, or needs to change.
Clues that are signals for change
feeling stuck or unhappy in your current situation, a lack of joy or passion in what you’re doing, frequently tired, feeling unchallenged or not growing, daydreaming about a different life, negative impacts on your mental or physical health, feeling conflicted between your real self and the self you are showing the world.
Are you
- A young woman listening to all of the advice from others on what you should do with your life? Do you feel like you’re just bumbling along searching for something that defines you? Are you working a job, in a career or going to school in a field that someone else thought you might like or be good at?
- A woman in her thirties(ish) who has all the nice things; married, car, house, maybe kids, successful career, but something is off. You’re happy…. kind of. Well, should be happy, but not really. Something is nagging at you but you can’t put your finger on it. You’re bored and want more, but don’t even know what “more” means.
- Now in your Forties(ish) and life is plugging along nicely, you are doing all the things, you are happy and grateful but…… why is this not enough? There’s got to be more purpose to life than dishes, laundry and kids.
- At your midlife point? Maybe you are going thru physical, mental, emotional and hormonal changes. You’re irritated, snappy, can’t sleep and just don’t give a crap if the house burned down.
I have been all four of these women.
Most of my life has been about transitions. As a child, we moved so frequently that I was the “new kid” at school every year until middle school.
My young adult life was also about movement. Always trying new things, a tiny apartment with a roommate, a bigger apartment with a boyfriend in a new city, getting married, moving to a new state, a shiny new career, buying a condo switching careers, buying a house, changing careers again, selling the house, moving back to my home state, starting my own business. Wow, that’s a lot!
My thirties was spent running a successful business, but I had this nagging feeling of unhappiness. I just couldn’t put my finger on it, but I couldn’t just up and move. I considered opening another location or buying a big house, but neither of these things felt right. I should be happy, but I wasn’t, and I felt bad for feeling this way. I thought something was wrong with me. Instead of talking with my husband at the time, I chose to bury my nose in a stack of self-help books and suffer in silence…. for years! That silence eventually ended my marriage.
Early forties came and I was happily remarried with two kids and became a stay-at-home mom. This experience had it’s own set of challenges. I no longer had the freedom to change my external world when things got difficult, I felt stifled.
I was raised in a home where feelings were not accepted. “Stop being such a big baby” was what I heard. Now, in my forties I realized I had no idea how to express my own feelings, wants or needs.
This is where I first discovered using art as a way to express myself.
Then, perimenopause! That laid back, generally happy girl was an irritated, short fused mess. I could barely stand myself. There were a lot of tears, frustration and rage cleaning! None of my friends were in this stage yet, and didn’t fully understand. I felt alone and in uncharted territory. To the advice of my mother, I chose to “ride it out.” It was an emotional six years that I thought would never end. I again turned to art to cope.
Fast forward to today. I’m 54, post menopausal and still happily married, kudos to my husband for hanging in there! While I still struggle from time to time, I no longer feel the need to make an “external” change. I finally took the time to dig “internally” to understand what was really driving my feelings. I’ve lived in the same town for twenty two years and the same house for ten. I feel vibrant, creative, balanced and really happy. I now recognize my emotional clues and honor them by speaking up before they spin out of control.
I have art to thank for keeping me sane.
Are you suffering in silence?
Maybe you are thinking it’s not that bad, or you are being too sensitive, or too irrational, or you should be grateful and suck it up. Or maybe you are hoping it will just go away, maybe when the weather changes.
If you continue to shove your feelings down, it will get emotionally worse.
Feeling lost will intensify, you might find yourself in an environment that doesn’t fit and goes against your morals. Your unhappiness will grow, creating a bigger wedge between you and the ones you love, possibly ending relationships. Feeling stuck and bored will increase, you may turn to drinking, smoking and drugs just to get thru and have some “fun.” Your irritation will expand until you feel like you are constantly short fused and snapping at everyone.
Trying to block or ignore negative thoughts and feelings creates even more painful discomfort. This leads to isolation, disconnection and abandonment from family, friends and even yourself.
You’ve tried to reach out
but that someone you confided in left you feeling mis-understood, embarrassed, irrational, stupid, vulnerable, judged and basically not heard. The people in our lives mean well, but the advice they give are usually coming from their own fears, past conditioning or how “they” would handle things.
Maybe I can help
If you’ve made it this far, you realize I have experienced a lot in life, with many personal hardships and many life challenges, even more than what is in this website. They call that the University of Hard Knocks, where you learn how to navigate life thru direct experience. Every experience I had, I embraced, even when it was painful and difficult. I didn’t always see it in the moment, but reflecting back, I realized it was a lesson for me to learn, grow and better understand myself and find the strength to move forward with authenticity.
If you choose to work with me, you can expect my energy to be a safe space for you to share your feelings and your struggles. You will feel heard, understood and NEVER judged. I am open, honest, and easy to talk to. Because of my life history, I can deeply empathize and I don’t want you to feel you have to struggle alone.
Having just one person in your corner that can hold space for your feelings, can help you uncover your needs, and is supportive in you finding your authentic self, can make all the difference in your mental health as you navigate your life.